you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
