So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
