so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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