moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
