Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
