Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize