ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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