I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
