I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize