we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
