sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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