somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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