So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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