Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
