I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
