if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
