he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
