Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
