clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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