Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
