He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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