Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize