I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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