I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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