Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
