Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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