it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
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I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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