fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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