I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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