I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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