the day after is always just damage control
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
