I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
