all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
