Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
