I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
