Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
