Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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