how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
