Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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