I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
stop calling my apartment porn island.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
