the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
