i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize