New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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