is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
