You're my little dorito
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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