is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
