Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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