Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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