Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize