Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
