You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Floor bacon is actually really good
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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