I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
