North Korea, Best Korea!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
