He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
