but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
