i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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