ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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