She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
