where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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