I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
