if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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