yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
