Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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